I FUCKING HATE THIS. no amount of words can express my distasced. i cant walk. i cant drive. i cant conccitrate . everything i love has eben put to a hault and my emotions. my peace of mind has been flipped. i sit not with depression but with anger. and frustration. as i watch my child being takin care of. as i watch ppl play my sport and i see ppl practice my art.. no. i am stuck. left to the side only for me to build my frustration till i implode. exploding wouldnt do a thing. there is no one around for me blow up on. i have lost alot of my friends that i have had. ruined alot of things. the thoughts i have now cant be trusted for they are only thoughts tainted by hate. in the times of need i will always be there. but why is it i am alone? my room has only become the vessel of my frustation that grow exponetionally by the day. dammit i cant even fucking type on my keyboard without pain. the sad thing is. in my darkest moments. i can never find it in myself to call those who are closes to me to my aid. its a funny thing. i choose to be alone
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